Seattle Dining: 8oz Burger Bar

8oz Burger Bar
1401 Broadway  Seattle, Washington 98122
(206) 466-5989

Web Site:

I have often been told that my food phototographs resemble hardcore pornography, and it’s clear that there are primitive, sexual urges at work when I post on this blog.

Guilty. As. Charged.

Frankly, I don’t know any self-described foodies that also aren’t extremely sexual people. The love of food and the love of sex are tightly interconnected things, because they both stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain.

It probably shouldn’t surprise you either that every person that I have met who has been involved in the porn industry in some form or another has been without exception, also a foodie.

And so it came to pass that a few years ago, in the course of my writings for ZDNet, I made the acquaintance of the founders of MiKandi, an independent, Seattle-based app store for Android smartphones and tablets. And I quickly found out these people are also hardcore foodies.

[Did I neglect to mention that MiKandi also specializes in porn applications and content for your Droids? No? Alrighty then.] 

So whenever I’m in Seattle, and I want to find seriously good places to eat, and people to share it with me, the first person I call is Jen McEwan, co-founder of MiKandi.

“You really should check out the 8oz Burger Bar on Capitol Hill.”

I’m thinking, okay, burgers. I mean, I love burgers, but it doesn’t sound particularly exotic or sexual. Not like say, Sushi, or classic French cuisine. But hey, if Jen likes them, they must make one hell of a burger.

Main Dining Room at 8oz Burger Bar in Seattle, Washington.

Indeed, burgers can be sexual. Click on the “Read the rest of this entry” link below for more.

The Burger Bar. Where the meatgasms flow like honey wine.

The Carte de Burgers.

Beers on draft.

A Rogue Stout. To cure my performance anxiety.

The food orgy begins with a Short Rib Poutine. French fries in a rich cheese sauce with beef short rib gravy and topped with a fried egg. Has your pulse started racing yet? Or maybe it’s your heart telling you that you need a double dose of cholesterol meds.

The first burger is an enigma. Called a “Banh Mi” it’s meant to evoke the classic French Vietnamese sandwich. This may not look like one of those, but it has all of the Southeast Asian flavors you’d expect from one. It’s a beef/pork sausage patty, pate’, with a fried egg, lemongrass sriracha mayo, pickled vegetables, cucumbers and serrano chile peppers.

Me love you long time, 8oz Burger Bar Banh Mi.

This… thing… called “The Hill”  is a house blended burger patty, topped with braised short ribs, baby arugula, fried shallots, beef demi glace’, melted white cheddar and horseradish dijonnaise.

We’re not even close to done yet people. Pop in another Viagra or Cialis if you need to.

Rear view of the restaurant’s dining room.

Macaroni and Cheese with BACON. I hope those cholesterol meds are working.

See, we ordered something healthy. Roasted Brussels Sprouts. With… BACON.

The group of us sex maniacs thought it would be a good idea to take a break from all that red meat. So we ordered a chicken sandwich. Which is a giant Southern-fried chicken breast, lettuce, onions, green tomato jalapeno chutney & curry aoli on a brioche bun.

I like big breasts. Chicken breasts.

French Fries.

This burger was a bit of a blur. It was a special burger, with a peanut butter sauce, tomato jam and also bacon. And cheese. Lots of cheese. I don’t remember much other than the fact it tasted amazing and all the pleasure synapses in my brain were firing off simultaneously as I bit into it and tasted its medium-rare juices flowing into my mouth. I was just about ready to pass out at that point.

But this is what it looked like inside. Yeah I know what you’re thinking. You’ve got a filthy mind.

2 Responses to Seattle Dining: 8oz Burger Bar

  1. I’ve been there twice and it is pretty disgusting; smoke and mirrors. Maybe they knew you were a food critic and pulled out all their tricks.

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