I Don’t Think the Suits at McDonalds Are Gonna Like This


This UK-based site, apparently run by McDonalds, is a customer service interaction site where customers can submit their questions about everything from business practices to burger ingredients. Over 7000 questions have been answered so far and many of these questions are insanely hilarious and off-color, with deadpan, corporate-style answers.

The site appears to be created by a French company called Duke Interactive:

Founded in 1999, Duke helps clients position, define and implement their brands online through an integrated use of strategy, marketing, design and technology. The agency’s innovative client work was recently honored with three Cyber Cristal awards at the distinguished Miribel Advertising Festival, a Cyber Lion at the International Cannes Festival for the Sony (PSP) PlayStation launch and Best Interactive Agency of the last 20 years for CB News Magazine. Clients include Nissan, McDonald’s, Nike and Procter and Gamble, among others.

Duke is owned by Razorfish/Avenue A, a well-known American marketing company.

I suspect that McDonald’s US had no idea this site was operating for over a year, and I’m not sure McDonald’s UK fully authorized it either. My hunch its a rogue department with a rogue discretionary budget. Go check this out before Mickey-D yanks it off the net!

Some prime examples:

are your baconburgers kosher?

It sounds like you may be referring to the Bacon Cheeseburger. This item is not Kosher for two reasons, firstly the Torah classifies pork is unacceptable to eat, and secondly the rules of Kashrut say that meat may not be eaten in conjunction with diary products such as cheese.

I love McFlurry, but whenever I eat it, my skin turns red and chapped, my mouth stings and I have difficulty breathing. The problem seems to be getting worse. Should I continue eat it in the hope that I might harden myself, or is there some other explanation? Do you put poison in McFlurry?”

There is absolutely no poison in the McFlurries. If you are having some particular kind of reaction when you eat a McFlurry, then it would be advisable you discontinue purchasing and eating them immediately, and speak to your doctor about the symptoms you are having.

Why did your emplyees ejactulate into my grandmother’s milkshake?

“Any rumours and stories about this sort of behaviour have never been found to be true and are regarded as urban myths. If McDonald’s receive any allegations about bodily fluids in food these claims are fully investigated. If something like this were to happen any employee acting in this way would be dismissed.”

My Wife and I often visit New York and, whilst waiting at Newark Airport on the homeward leg, i often have a McDonalds, very nice it is to. Could you tell me why the Burgers in Newark actually taste like Beef whereas those we get at home in the UK taste like nothing even remotely animal falvoured? Surely meat is meat…or is it?

All McDonald’s hamburger patties are made from 100 percent beef. Whole cuts from forequarter and flank are used (the same as any good mince you may buy at the supermarket), with a pinch of salt and pepper used after cooking for taste. McDonald’s UK has a policy to source all its ingredients locally whenever possible.

Why does your food suck so much? It’s like all you do is come up with the most disgustingly unhealthy food products and server it out of the some of the most unsanitary restaurants I’ve ever had the misfortune to vistit.

McDonald’s uses free range eggs for its breakfast menu items. The shell eggs are cracked open and cooked on the hot grill using a poaching cylinder to give the eggs their shape. In addition, the eggs for the Big Breakfast are scrambled in the restaurant using a liquid free range egg and milk mixture. The liquid egg is 80 percent free range egg and 20 percent milk. The eggs in the bagel are cooked on the hot grill and folded, again using a liquid free range egg and milk mixture.

6 Responses to I Don’t Think the Suits at McDonalds Are Gonna Like This

  1. Chuck says:

    This stuff is great. Thanks

  2. Skawt says:

    Is it just me, or does that last one look like an automated response to “suck eggs”?

  3. Jon says:

    Hilarious. You can see the extra-cheeky British sense of humor at work here. The answers almost have the same flavor, if only because they have been forced to act as if these are serious questions and have to respond in a similar tone (mock serious vs. serious).

  4. Jon says:

    The abattoir report they link to is a bit creepy too.

    http://www.makeupyourownmind.co.uk/reports/jane-eyres–visit-to-an-abattoir.html

    BTW: Jason, you might want to add this info from the “About this site” page into the main story…

    =================================================

    “About this site

    The decisions we have to make around food and diet for ourselves and our families seem to get more and more complicated. We all want to know about where our food comes from and what happens to it on the way to our plates.

    McDonald’s is no exception and there are many rumours and confusion around how McDonald’s goes about its business. This site is an attempt to open up the conversation – so everyone can get the information and reassurance they need, in a simple and straight-talking manner. This is your platform to start a conversation about the issues you believe McDonald’s should be dealing with. We welcome any discussion that can help people get to know McDonald’s a little better.
    Tell us what you think”

    ===============================================

  5. Stan says:

    I don’t think they are going to yank this site, I think this is just pure marketing genius. I just spent 30 minutes reading dozens of rather hilarious questions/answers about McDonald’s and their products. In the world of 30 second spots and Tivo’s that’s practically a lifetime.

    The engineer in me just loved this one:

    # if you start with 100% beef, then add a pinch of salt, what percentage is the beef in your burgers?

    1. The beef patties are made up of 100 percent beef. A pinch of salt and pepper are only added after cooking. So if you wanted to be 100 percent accurate, you could say that a cooked beef burger will be approximately 100 percent beef.

  6. Chuck says:

    No it really is good.

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