Chinese Food For Christmas

I recall a song that Rachel and I wrote a few years ago:


Chinese Food for Christmas

Sing along to the tune of “Good King Wenceslas” (midi: Midi Music (Click), original lyrics: good_king_wenceslas

Many Jews eat Chinese food
During Christmas evenin’
All the restaurants are closed
Except those which are Asian.

Kung Pao Chicken, Egg Foo Yung
Lo Mein would be pleasin’
Beef and Broccoli, Peking Duck.
No-oh MSG-ee please!

As I eat my Pork Fried Rice,
Wonton Soup and Egg Rolls;
I thank G-d for Chinese food,
Especially the Shrimp Toast!

Grandparents’ solo or duet, Brooklyn/Yiddish accent:

“Don’t the Christmas lights look nice?
Beautifully they twinkle
Oy, I’m glad I’m not a goy,
Think of the e-lec-tric bill!”

Gentiles all are in their homes,
Drinking lots of egg nog.
Can we have more oolong tea,
Duck sauce and some mustard?

If there were no Chinese food
We would all go hungry.
Now to end our fine repast
With a fortune coo-oo-kie!

If this song got your juices flowing, here are some suggestions for your Christmas Chinese Food quest:

Golden Gate (Bronx)

King Yum (Flushing, Queens)

Lee’s Hawaiian Islander (Lyndhurst, NJ)

Chan’s Dragon Inn (Ridgefield, NJ)

China 46 (Ridgefield Park, NJ)

And if you guys aren’t all Latke’d-out by now, check out these awesome Yuca latkes by my friend Daisy Martinez! Be sure to wash it down with her Puerto Rican eggnog!

9 Responses to Chinese Food For Christmas

  1. Baby Jebus says:

    I want chinese food now.

  2. Leigh says:

    I don’t know, but I think this “poem” offends me.

  3. harry says:

    Sadly, us Jews here in Israel go to work….of course we can eat chinese food if we want to…but it isn’t all that here.

  4. Leigh: Why? What’s offensive about it?

  5. Calichef says:

    Wow, I thought everyone knew that Christmas was actually International-Jews-Go-To-The-Movies-And-Eat-Chinese-Food-Day.

    Great rewrite, BTW.

  6. Bux says:

    Jason, I was also hoping to be sensitized in the matter of what’s offensive about your poem, but perhaps it’s not personal. Maybe it was only Leigh’s literary sense that was offended. ;-)

  7. Edmond says:

    Apparently voted best Chinese restaurant in central jersey, anyone been there?


    They claim 3stars in Courier and Star Ledger.

  8. Steve says:

    Along the Devon Avenue section of Chicago, you can find a few kosher Chinese restaurants.

  9. […] What do Jews do on Christmas? We Eat Chinese Food. […]

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